there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.