He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
