you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
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bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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