i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
