So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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