I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
