Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
