i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
