Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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