I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
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His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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