You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
