who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
