just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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