i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
