I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish my penis had a tongue
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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