when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
