So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
