I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
