All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
