I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
