That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
