I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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