im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
