And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize