Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize