I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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