Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
