Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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