He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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