absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize