The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he's gonorrhea incarnate
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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