I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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