i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm at about main and main street
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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