He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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