What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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