Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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