just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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