i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
