Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
