good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you would pick up someone in the library
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
