Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize