he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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