My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The beer is more important than you right now.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Randomize
