After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
