I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
where are my eyebrows?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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