PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
