it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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