We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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