I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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