hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
