Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
