is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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