We're facebook friends in real life
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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