I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
