YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
