Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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