I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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