just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
