So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
