if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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