the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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