Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
